so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
