I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
