I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
