i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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