I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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