Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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