R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
