She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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