Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You can't just leave with hair like that
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize