Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
