you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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