i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
