I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
