I am puke
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
