It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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