is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
being pregnant is like rehab
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
