So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
