The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
