dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
why do cheetos always look like penises
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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