he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize