Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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