PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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