i barfeds in our rink
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
