she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I supernannyed him into submission
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize