I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
