we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
