Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize