just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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