I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
