dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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