Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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