Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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