Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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