I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
