How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
