my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
