He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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