I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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