I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
