He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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