the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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