i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she told me i tasted like america
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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