strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
