im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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