On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
