Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
