I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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