So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
