yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Less talking, more tequila
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
