Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
