doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize