you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
