david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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