My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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