it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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