Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
