We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize