im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
