we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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